Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Do you think Japan will have same-sex marriage by 2030?

I can count

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Can you tell me a depressing story?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I see through liars

Do flat Earthers really exist? Why do they believe the Earth is flat?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand how hurricane paths work

Why is fitness important?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have a reading level above third grade

What is one thing you've learned from life?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

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I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Why did Kamala say immigrants eating cats isn’t real when there’s police bodycam footage of it happening?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

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I actually pay taxes

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

It seems that I am cursed with bad luck. How do I break such a curse?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

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I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

What is the difference between the Bible and the Qur'an?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Why is there so much free porn on the internet?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I can read

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t buy bullshit

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t cotton to rapists